It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. He'll want to use your yacht, and I don't want this thing smelling like fish. We just call it a sausage. Marry me. It's called 'taking advantage.' It's what gets you ahead in life. Say goodbye to these, because it's the last time! No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn't date magicians. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. He'll want to use your yacht, and I don't want this thing smelling like fish. That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.' I'm half machine. I'm a monster. We just call it a sausage. There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. I've been under fire before. Well ... I've been in a fire. Actually, […]

Just get us on the ground! That part will happen pretty definitely! Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle. Course you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple. Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face. I've been under fire before. Well ... I've been in a fire. Actually, I was fired. I can handle myself. Am I a lion? I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well, though, I have a mighty roar. Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that. You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin charge here. I must apologize for calling […]

Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last. You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius. My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don't know. You know my method. It is founded upon the observation of trifles. Elementary, my dear Watson. Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot. Not a word! Into your clothes and come! The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes. I am the most incurably lazy devil that ever stood in shoe leather Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. 'Watson' he says, 'look up in the sky and tell me what you see.' 'I […]