That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.' Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn't like his trailer. No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. It's called 'taking advantage.' It's what gets you ahead in life. Really? Did nothing cancel? If anyone gets nosy, just ...you know ... shoot 'em. Shoot 'em? Politely, of course. Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that. Course you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple. You're welcome on my boat. God ain't. I cannot abide useless people. Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower ... somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross. Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle. Yes sir, Captain Tightpants! Mercy is the mark of a […]

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius. You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear. The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes. I am the most incurably lazy devil that ever stood in shoe leather Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention? To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. The dog did nothing in the night-time. That was the curious incident You will not apply my precept. How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth? We know that he did not come through the door, the window, or the chimney. We also know that he could not have been concealed in the room, as there is no concealment possible. When, then, did he […]